"Innocent" Bystanders

Hello again.

I have never really been interested in 18th Century warfare. I remember seeing a demo game probably 30 years ago in Stafford at some venue or other (it was not even a wargames show, but I also remember I first encountered live action role-playing there too...) which featured Austria's and Prussia's finest in the age of Frederick and Maria Theresa. I liked the colour, I liked the big units (I think they were using WRG 1685-1845 rules), but I had no knowledge of the period, had never heard of Charles Grant and had not at that time developed an interest in the Austrian Empire.

Fast forward 30 years and I have taken the plunge with my FIW forces, with "Muskets & Tomahawks" as the initial fuel and "Sharp Practice 2" the spark which ignited it. Not an Austrian in sight and nowhere near where I thought I would dip into this period, namely in India with Clive and Eyre Coote.

Yet, probably, this is exactly where I should be. Not only am I seriously inspired by the likes of the above rules sets, but I am also in "grand skirmish" mode and I can think of no better 18th Century conflict to fulfil that mode than the FIW (or "French & Indian Wars" for those who hate acronyms or simply don't know what this particular one stands for).

So far, I have painted around 70 figures and I have two "armies". I can certainly see the point of all those articles bemoaning the death of the "big game" in preference to these quick-to-table affairs, but I personally believe there is more than enough room for both. The FIW also gives me two very distinct-looking sides, lots of colour, varied troop types and the aforementioned quick entry to a new period. Whilst there might have been the odd big battle, I think the conflict is synonymous with small groups of protagonists sniping at each other from behind trees and rocks, raiding each other's villages and crawling around the primeval forests of the New World in search of profit or a scalp or two. My only grievance is that I have come to it so late.

And, the subject of this post, I get to play with some crud too! Civilians!!! The long-suffering commoner has been at the wrong end of various sharp sticks since time began and this war was no different. But this time they get to fight back! What better way to fend off a raiding party than to have your womenfolk load your muskets whilst you pop off the odd Frenchie/ Brit/ Native from behind the stout walls of your log cabin somewhere out in the Wilderness? So these particular civilians might not be quite the crud of legend, but they are not exactly staunch regulars either.

I bought these figures from the lost, lamented Stafford Games a few years ago when I first put this project on the "to do" list. I am not entirely sure that a couple of them are not more Gary Cooper than Fennimore Cooper. I have no idea what make they are either, but I had them, I liked the look of many of them and, therefore, painted them up to join the war for control of the New World.

G

The entire dozen - I hesitate to call them "dirty"...

And slightly closer in. I reckon the man on the far right (positionally rather than politically!) is more Wild West than FIW, but who cares. My usual group won't even notice anyway!!!

Slightly less cruddy Sauronistas

Hello again.

The Mordor Orcs have approached a "logical" stopping point in their growth with the acquisition of a few leaders and specialists to accompany the dregs that have gone before.

These figures must be worth more than the average Cirith Ungolite as:
a) They are made of metal.
b) Some of them have names!
c) They come in packs the size of which makes them far more expensive per figure than the common or garden crud they get to lead (especially at GW prices...)

But, what is an Orc army without a few Uruk-hai, a few cunning nasties who call themselves "leaders" and the odd runt whose trickery, sneakery and general skullduggeriness outmatches that of Joe Average? Or should that be Azog Average?

I am looking to add a few more Uruk-hai, another couple of the named characters (though they will probably not be used as such in future games), a troll or two and I have an exceedingly venerable Grenadier Miniatures "Wraith on Fell Beast" to build and paint too. And I could always use another plastic boxed set of crud to add to the orc numbers and options.

I shelved the original experiment with the Army Painter dips on these and stuck to my usual collection of basecoats, washes and highlights. I am much happier with the finished result than I was with the original orcs. I could have tarted them up a bit beyond the dip stage but, as I wrote when I posted the orc pictures, it seemed counter productive to do so...

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The command, including a "Grishnakh" with sword held low in his left hand. Note to self: stay away from trees, especially those that can walk and spring up unexpectedly when you chase hobbits into woodland...

Some Uruk-hai. I may commit figure heresy and get a box of plastic Morannon Orcs to fill out their numbers. The Morannon folk have better armour than the usual crud and are cheaper than these metal figures! Plus, I reckon they would fit in if you did not look too closely...

Some Trackers, a fabricated offering that basically gives you some archers who do know which end of the arrow to hold AND can very occasionally hit something with it.

More of Sauron's (less than) finest

Hello again.

As some of you will know, if you have bothered to read some of my more recent posts, I have been busily scampering through a few mini-projects in the past few months in order to try and clear up some quickies before I get sucked into yet another big project. The main two focal points in this regard have been my French & Indian Wars and Lord of the Rings "collections" - the parentheses are there because I am not really sure "collection" is the right word for a few dozen figures versus the several hundred I tend to get through as a minimum when I do a larger project...

Anyway, the figures below were painted ages ago, but only recently brought up to full completion with basing work, and they are something a little different to my normal techniques.

The figures are bog standard Games Workshop Mordor Orcs, twelve to a box and in various poses, but I avoided my usual base/ wash/ highlight routine and used the Army Painter wash on these. My thinking was that they were just a sideshow to my main interests and I wanted something quick.

Hmm.

I will come straight out with it and state that this way of working is not for me.

The product itself is fine, giving a suitable wash and varnish to suitably base-coated figures, but I do that anyway. What I missed out on with these, through choice, was the highlighting back up to my usual standard, which sort of makes the varnish side of the army Painter wash irrelevant. Also, I use washes specific to the base colour, so an all over gungy brown does not appeal, except in certain specific circumstances, I suspect. Those circumstances could include Mordor Orcs in truth, but I am more thinking Sudan Wars British in khaki, Afrika Korps/ 8th Army/ Italians in Libya - that sort of basic, uniform thing.

So, I have long since packed away my two jars of Army Painter wash for such projects and will continue with my usual techniques. Fair play to those who swear by this product - the great thing about this broad, wargaming church is that there is no heresy (unless using unpainted figures counts as such. OK, I'll come clean again - it DOES!!!) - so paint your own figures exactly how YOU want to. It just isn't for me.

Anyway, here are a few Orcs.

And the great thing about Orcs???
They constitute the sort of crud I get the most joy from!

G

The whole "army" of 30 combat figures...the good thing about GW games is that the paucity of figures required helps offset the massive cost of buying their figures to start with!

Lots of nice, varied poses provide the different equipment options allowed to Orcs in the LoTR rules.

And I have a few poor quality archers to keep the odd Goodly head down whilst the Orcs get over any initial flakiness and charge home.

Just how did the tortoise beat the hare?

Hello again.

I have had the makings of a Mordor Orc army for GW's "Lord of the Rings" game for ages, but have struggled to get them ready for battle with the various big projects I have had on for the past few years on behalf of the "Wyrley Retinue". Well, now I have no major project on for next year, I have managed to pursue some more of Sauron's less-than-finest with a view to finishing this little project off this year.

I bought these mounted fellows ready-built, undercoated and with the Wargs already done a couple of years ago from the Stafford Games (RIP) secondhand table. They cost me £18 for 18 figures, which, at GW prices, is a BARGAIN!!!

So, I have finally got around to painting them and they fulfil both my Mordor Orc reinforcements desire and the love of crud - their stats in the game are rather poor, as befits a lowly Orc. They are just rather speedier crud than their foot-slogging brethren.

I did not touch the Wargs at all, but tarted up the bases, which had basic texture work done (sand and glue probably), and painted the riders throughout.

 



As you can see, I have three "squadrons" of six figures each, one with spear, one with bow and one with sword. The sword and spear guys also have shields, which is nice. That armour rating needs to be as high as possible in my book!

G

Crud 3 - Revolting Revolutionaries

In an all too common Mathematics faux pas, I posted "Crud 4" before "Crud 3"...

So, the "Revolting Revolutionaries", aka "Crud 3". I put these together ages ago and wrote an article for Battlegames magazine (issue 14 or 15 I think) about wargaming the Freikorps and their enemies in 20mm, in which several of these figures featured.

My Late WW1 Germans needed some opponents other than the Late War French I also own, so, inspired by the likes of Hans Fallada's "Kleiner Mann - Was Nun?", a text I had to study in my youth for German A Level, set as it is during the Weimer Republic, I set to in my favoured 20th Century wargames scale, 1/76th, or 20mm to you and I. During my studies, I encountered the likes of the Spartacists, the Freikorps, Rosa Luxemburg, Karl Liebknecht, rampant inflation, the rise of the Nazis and all that other period stuff.

"How different was that?" I thought.

I already had a good grounding in the sort of period figures available for The Great War, but needed a more civilian feel for my Spartacists. Cue some Irregular Miniatures Spanish Civil War figures, some It Figures Volkssturm, Partisans also by It Figures, Great War spares from the likes of It Figures, Irregular and Tumbling Dice, lorries, wagons and the like from whoever makes them and away I went. In short, if I felt it would fit the bill, in it went. The whole thing was a sort of wargames curry!

They will not stand up in a straight fight against the Freikorps, but that is why I like scenario games so much, because they do not necessarily have to! One memorable game saw them defending a station building, eager for the arrival of some explosives so they could blow it up, whilst being assaulted by the Freikorps. In the last turn of the game, they left out the back door whilst the Freikorps tried to get in the front and BOOM!!!!

I really must get these figures out again soon. Happy memories...

G

Ex-British army Mark IV by Emhar fronted by a mixed selection of anti-Fascists/ Communists and an ex-French army 75mm gun. The two figures with armbands are It Figures Volksturm, the others Irregular Miniatures SCW. The gun is from Tumbling Dice.

The Tumbling Dice 75mm and crew. The crew are also TD, French WW1, with a head swap from a WW1 Russian nearest to camera holding the shell. Captured equipment would have been quite common, hence the foreign kit, including Adrian helmets.

The big lorry is from Irregular, the figures a mix again, the Hotchkiss from It Figures. The smaller lorry is a Model T Ford built from a kit made by Polish company RPM and marketed as a WW1 Ambulance. The standard bearer is an identical figure to the one in black, but an arm bend did the trick to make him something else.

In addition to the politically-motivated civilians, the Red ranks also have a few ex-soldiers in their ranks. These are again It Figures (no longer available?), their armbands a simple strip of sticky label painted an appropriate red. The portee is Irregular Miniatures again, its crew a mix of Tumbling Dice and Irregular I think.

It Figures Russian sailors, painted blue to represent their German counterparts, with an It Figures Maxim. These, with the ex-soldiers, provide a bit of quality to the Crud.

Irregular Miniatures wagons, the red one converted with card panels to represent a delivery van of some sort. The teamster is another conversion, having had his sidecap shaved down and scored to represent hair. A civilian paint job completes the disguise.

Crud 4 - The Lowly Levies

At last, I can present for your amusement/ pleasure/ critique/ disinterest/ other (delete as appropriate) the figures that prompted the whole "Crud" theme in the first place.

When starting out with a SAGA warband or two the middle of last December, I chose Vikings simply because I already had some Gripping Beast plastic Hirdmen figures available to build after using this particular boxed set as a source of parts for Islesmen for my 1314/ Malleus Scottorum project.

But no, being me, I did not want to paint my Jarl or Hirdmen, I had to start with the rubbish I tend to steer towards. So, here are those self-same Thralls that started the whole thing, 12 levy slingers made from parts available in the Gripping Beast "Dark Age Warriors" boxed set. I would have preferred archers, but you do not get the parts for them in this set, so slingers it had to be. They fit the bill very nicely for SAGA, however, and will get some trial outings at the very least.

The first games are set for this Sunday. Having played just two games so far this year, I hope to get at least a couple in this Easter weekend. Both of my 4-point Viking forces are now finished, so I will post some more photos soon, I have started on more stuff for this basic project, we have a campaign in the offing and it's all good!

I might even remember to take a few photos of the games in action to log my experiences and these Thralls might even hit something!!!

Sunday could be a lot of fun.

G

The complete unit, ready to run at the first sign of trouble as all good levies should.

I tried to give them an earthy feel to represent better their lowly status. Bright colours and washing facilities were out, but this guy at least got a bit of hem decoration on his tunic.



And this one can stretch to a knife and pouch for whatever pass for his personal effects. The beauty of plastic figure kits is their ability to be customised to suit, the variety they afford from a few simple parts, their potential for conversion and the extra bits you seem to get in all these kits, to enable the addition of details such as the pouch and dagger.

Crud 2: Nutty Night Goblins

Some fantasy!!!

For the first time ever (I think...) on the posts on this blog, I give you an entry from the wonderful, wacky world of Warhammer. And boy, are these guys almost totally rubbish!

To be fair, the deranged loons who take up the spinning, metal ball of doom, otherwise known as Night Goblin Fanatics, might be considered rather less cruddy than the rest of the Night Goblin troops I field alongside them, but it is only by pure luck that they ever really achieve anything.

For the uninitiated, these guys hide within a basic unit of Night Goblin troops until something or other from the opposing force comes within 8 inches of the unit. Then, with a heave and a shove, the Night Goblins forcibly eject these fellows from their ranks and launch then at the enemy that has encroached within the magic 8 inch range. Each Fanatic throws 2d6 for movement, in inches, so, if I throw 8 or more on the dice, I can attack the nearby enemy!

The problem is fivefold:

1. Rolling 8+ on 2d6 requires my dice rolling to be above average...never likely, as those who know me would probably testify.
2. The enemy unit can be anything and is most likely to be the worse sort of peasant rabble who I basically would not want to waste my Fanatics against, but I have to launch them anyway if they get within 8 inches.
3. After managing to roll 8 or more, I am then required to roll high on 1d6 to see how many hits I get against the enemy. The chances of me rolling good dice twice in succession are even less than rolling one set of good dice...
4. Having done that, I then have to roll more dice to wound the enemy, who may also get to roll armour saves in response, thereby minimising any damage I cause.
5. Once the Fanatics have moved and hit anything, they move randomly in future turns. This means more d6 rolls, but also a scatter dice to determine direction. I have not kept accurate count, but I reckon I have killed far more of my own troops than any enemy as the Fanatics have a habit of turning round and coming straight back!!!

Given point 5, it becomes almost a blessing when they roll a double for movement and strangle themselves inadvertently or hit some rough terrain and dash out their own brains on a tree...

But it would be remiss of me not to mention the singular success these guys have had.

An Elf Lord on a dragon decided to plough through a lone Fanatic in order to contact the Night Goblin unit behind and scare the bejaysus out of them, no doubt munching a couple of dozen of the hapless greenskins in the process and routing the rest. Cue a most uncharacteristic bout of dice rolling by yours truly and said Elf Lord hit the dirt with as much of as thump as his puny, elven frame allowed, as dead as a dead thing. The dragon then stood there glowering for a turn before flying off to bother me no more. RESULT!!!

I think that is the only game I have ever won with an army composed mostly, if not entirely, of Night Goblins...

To add insult to injury, I have nine of these fellows and, mad, crazy deluded fool that I am, I like to use all of them simply because I have them. Will I ever learn?

To break up the monotony of black which these guys wear, I have divided my army up into little cults. The Fanatics each have a purple and white hood to show their allegiance to mayhem, each hood with a different pattern. My Squig Hoppers*** have yellow patterns on their hoods, etc, etc.

I do like a bit of variety after all.

G

***Squigs are spherical bundles of muscle and teeth the Night Goblins breed and use as cavalry mounts. They are marginally more predictable than Fanatics...

This trio of tat, like all my Night Goblins, are Games Workshop figures. Some are so old they are metal!!!

Inane grin, big ball and chain...must be a Fanatic!

Almost out of control...

Grrrr

Example hood pattern number 1...

...and 2.

Crud 1: The Sorry Segbans

Hello again.

Last time out, I raised the subject of the rubbish some at least of us like to include in our armies. So, continuing that fledgling theme, I present here a sure-fire contender for the honour of being one of history's...hm...least successful military forces - the Segbans.

With a stat line that makes an unarmed, octogenarian goblin with a severe cold fancy his chances in a straight fight, the Segbans have never let me down on the crud front.

They featured initially in the "By Fire & Sword" tournament, and the few preparatory games I had for it, last year. In about six games to date, I think they have scored one, solitary casualty and have run away I would say two-thirds of the time. They are so poor, they require two command points to give them a different order to the one they start with in games of "BF&S", compared with just one for the ropey, but not as ropey as the Segbans, Feudal Spahis etc. In fact, just about anything else.

They count as having "poor quality firearms", "poor tactical discipline".....

Let's just go with "Crud".

But where else do you get cheap infantry to fill out your Turkish forces of the late 17th Century? Where else can you get someone almost willing to hold a strategic village for you for a turn or two before their inevitable flight? Janissaries are better (just by this late stage), Tufengchis better too, but both are rare and not allowed in skirmish level forces, just in grand armies. So, the Segbans are here to stay.

The figures are by the "Wargamer" company from Poland, who produce the "By Fire & Sword" rules and produce several little boxed sets of figures, as well as blisters, to support their game.

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I don't know why I bothered with the flag. A map of the route back to Istanbul would have been better. I think they have managed to rally just once in their half a dozen outings to date.

I like a bit of variety and the Segban blister does not disappoint, with different poses, different clothing, etc.

Standing on the side of a snowy hill won't help either (another quality photo! [sic])

All hail to the Crud

The Crud...

Are you one of those gamers who likes the elites in life, the sort who has 15 Tigers as your late WW2 German army and justifies it by saying it is allowed by the army lists?

Or are you one of those gamers who habitually chooses the Irregular D morale class, unarmoured, deformed and deranged sorts armed with a sharpened lollipop stick? In short, the Crud of my title...

I have met both types.

I think I fall more towards the second category, the "Crud" as I have chosen to deride them. I have several examples of the other category though - Swiss pikemen, Janissaries, knights of various persuasions, 2nd SS Panzer Division, Warriors of Chaos, to name but a few - but they tend to be part of something bigger and wider. For every good soldier in my miniature armies, I reckon I probably have ten Crud.

My evidence for my claim???

1. Spartacists - I could have stuck with just World War 1 French and German late war troops, but I had to paint up various Volksturm, Spanish Civil War militia and others to represent the anti-Freikorps elements of immediate post-Great War Germany.
2. Napoleonics - if I had been interested in the Peninsular War, it would have been Spanish, but instead, I went for those perennial under-achievers, the Austrians, specifically 1809.
3. Swiss pikemen - yes, I have those, but only to fight against my Burgundians and no one could ever call Charles the Bold's army elite. (It certainly isn't when I use it...)
4. Fantasy - why have Elves when you can have goblins? Enough said.
5. Renaissance Eastern Europe - I could have had the ever tough Poles, the dour and equally tough Swedes...I went for Turks, "poor tactical discipline", "poor quality firearms", etc. to boot.

You get the picture.

Like many a wargamer, I suspect, I like life's losers. I much prefer trying to understand why they lost rather than why the other lot won.

So, to the point of all this. I fancy a theme for the next few months, and that theme is "The Little Guy", "The (Soon-to-be) Extinct", "The Crud".

It is time to get the camera out and showcase some of the rubbish I have lovingly created over many years and share with anyone who is interested, whilst I continue to paint whatever takes my fancy, photograph and post on that too.

And, by the way, if you do not believe even now that I do like said "Crud", answer me this single question:

Q: Who else, other than a "Crud-lover", would build and paint a Viking force for SAGA games and start with the levies rather than the Warlord or Hearthguard?

A: No one, I believe. Yet that is exactly what I did and the photos will follow shortly!

All hail to the Crud!

G